Health Anxiety is a horrible thing. It tries to make you believe there is something terribly wrong with you and no matter what you try and tell yourself or make yourself believe otherwise it just doesn’t make a difference, it’s the same outcome. Your brain just keeps trying to make you believe something is very wrong with you.
Anxiety is terrible for being able to make you feel so many physical symptoms, it can make you feel pretty much anything of any kind of condition imaginable and it just keeps digging and digging and digging, you get over one “symptom” and another crops up and then another and then another and it feels like it’s just never going to end.
For me it starts off really bad in the mornings and then slowly levels off throughout the day but then upon waking again the anxiety is right back at max level. It just doesn’t want to quit no matter what. And I don’t just wake up once in the night it is multiple times and each time it comes with a high level of anxiety and then that’s when lack of sleep kicks in and causes even more “symptoms” and cause you to panic further.
A lack of sleep can make you feel weak and clumsy and off balance and also cause mass fatigue as the day goes on and then this all leads to further triggering of the horrible, horrible anxiety. Anxiety itself uses up lots of energy from the intense emotions it causes and constantly being in flight or fight mode, making you even more tired and feel even weaker. Anxiety can also make us eat less or not at all, which can also further contribute to those things mentioned.
You may also do odd things to try and prove you don’t have what you’re scared of having and this in turn may actually make the symptom you’re afriad of worse, we try and come up with these silly little tests, that doctors themselves don’t even use, to try and prove something and then when we feel like we can’t do one of these made up tests we begin to panic, even though it’s something we literally never do, so of course you’re not going to be good at it.
We also Google the symptoms to try and figure it out but it ends up just leading to worst case scenarios that we fixate on and then hype up our anxiety even more, we specifically focus on the parts of those serious conditions we feel we’re experiecing while ignoring what we don’t have and also ignoring the other factors. We’re much less reasonable during times of intense anxiety and worry.
Now I type all of this like I am some master of controlling anxiety but I really am not as right now I continue to go through this terrible period of anxiety and I feel its going to last a while, going through periods of up and down until it finally, finally goes away.