I think for a while now I have been suffering with some kind of burnout when it comes to doing my larger blogposts, such as the paranormal/mysterious states and government system series and I am not exactly sure why as it is stuff I am also interested in at the same time and like looking further into. But for some reason I still find myself becoming burned out quickly and getting tired way too early to the point where it is difficult to work on other projects and perform social media duties for The Weekly Rambler.
I am very much behind in finding ways to advertise the blog to a wider audience as I am often so worn out after completing one of my larger blogposts that I feel like I mentally don’t have the process to carry out much else for some reason. It’s extremely annoying as I would like to be doing other tasks that enable me to expand my blog but I am always left with a blank mind as I am too tired to properly think of anything. I’m pretty sure I get adequate sleep as I sleep from 11pm to 6am.
I think a lot of it might come down to anxiety of not completing a blogpost on time and also anxiety on how I plan to make this blog into something and all the jobs that are required to enable it to keep going. As well as my usual projects I am also working on some larger projects that are being saved to a later date – announcements forthcoming – that are likely taking more mental energy out of me as well. I can find it very hard to manage things.
I have lots of base ideas but drawing out the ideas to fulfil the base of the idea itself I find to often be a great difficulty. Often, I feel like I am not doing enough for the blog and that I need to be making more content but at the same time there doesn’t seem to be time for that anywhere from what I am already doing. Feeling accomplished can be quite difficult, I have been trying to maintain set schedules and take a few more breaks but any positive affect from those changes remain to be seen.
Generally, for now I work on large projects on Monday’s, Tuesday’s, Thursday’s and Friday’s and have a break day on Wednesday’s where I go to working on my hobby book novel and on Saturday’s I completely rest while Sunday is a day where I organize what I am doing for my blog in the coming week and then after that just relax for the rest of the day, although I can still often feel stressed and anxious on Sunday’s for some reason, often worrying about not being possibly able to fulfil the following week even though I always do – but each and every Sunday it’s the same thing again.
I’m not sure why the body and mind does that, when every single week you have done what you wanted and/or planned to do but you still continue to worry that you might not be able to do that again the next week, as well as just still not feeling accomplished despite all that.
I have ran a successful social media page before with thousands of followers on a game that was basically similar to blogging and that always felt accomplished, so I know what I should be feeling, but for some reason I am yet to fully get that from this big project that is – The Weekly Rambler. Sometimes I wonder if perhaps I jumped into the thick of it too early and that I wasn’t ready yet.
I also continually worry about the future, such as if I do ever end up earning money and it gets to the point where I need to register as self-employed and begin paying taxes – I have looked into all this stuff and it is very daunting, also considering I am not good at maths, one thing that terrifies me most is getting tax returns wrong, even though such a task is likely a long, long time away yet, but it still constantly eats at the back of my mind. It’s probably the biggest source of anxiety and the thing that is perhaps holding me back most. I hate numbers to the utmost, I struggle to remember them – I even forgot my own age this morning, and I am absolutely no good with calculations.
I think at this point, just like how moths are one of my biggest phobias, so is now tax returns even though such a thing is nowhere in sight.
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