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It mostly comes down to communication and social cues. People with Autism simply don’t understand most of the time how to start and keep a proper conversation going and also fail to identify common social cues which can put general people off of them or cause them to avoid them either directly or indirectly which all leads to the person with Autism feeling more isolated than ever as they don’t understand what they have done incorrectly.
All this can lead to lack of confidence and depression and feeling like they are in a place they don’t belong, full of aliens different to them, almost like they are on the totally wrong planet and there is nothing they can do about it but suffer along within it. Sadly this is common for so many people with Autism and as a person with Autism myself I can obviously confirm this as I feel this way quite a lot of the time.
I can find it hard to think of stuff to come up with for a conversation down to nervousness and just general anxiety and I probably end up coming out with the wrong stuff when I desperately try to keep something going. This can scare neurotypical people off as they can sense that you are not completely comfortable which makes them begin to feel uncomfortable themselves and they may be put off by the way you project a conversation, perhaps you are speaking too much, too little, about the wrong things, it is all totally plausible that this is the case but only down to the lack of an ability to detect social cues and the fact that many Autistic people are not acustomed to having conversations.
People with Autism enjoy a lot of alone time so that they don’t get overwhelmed but unfortunately throughout life this can lead to too much isolation and the lack of an ability to have conversations and recognise typical body language. Many people with Autism also don’t have jobs due to lack of social and also confidence and this also further leads to less contact and even less of an ability to have conversations and just make friends in general or meet that special someone.
I am not entirely sure why I decided to begin typing up this blog post as I have no answers to give, I am still in the same boat as many of you and I have not learned (at least yet) how to do these things, although lately I have been trying to practice it on dating websites but I have had little success so far. Next I do plan to try and find some actual social clubs which may be the next best thing to try and find friends and all, it’s probably just going to take some time to build up to it. I heard looking into volunteer work can also be a good thing to build up a social side.
The only thing I can really try and suggest to others is to not shut yourselves down like I did, while at your places of education or even if you do have a job, really try and keep yourself open and try to appear friendly and approchable, yes I know, easier said than done, but shutting myself down gave me no favours and as I sit here now, finished with education and no job it is quite regretful that I could not manage to build up some kind of social life.
But I am not giving up just about yet as you could tell from my previous paragrapgh, although sometimes I really do feel like giving up as it seems so much easier, I just remind myself that I don’t want the rest of my life to be an empty load of nothing, one of my first attempts at putting an end to that was to start this very blog itself to at least be doing something with my life as it stands. One day I WILL figure out life, no ifs, buts or excuses, you just have to keep pushing, otherwise nothing will happen.
Of course for the above you really need quite a bit of confidence and that is difficult, personally I can say I have close to zero confidence with most things and the reason for that is simply I don’t trust I can do things without messing things up and many times scenarios have presented themselves where things often do go wrong or get messed up, more times I’d say than not, after all this it is very difficult to have much confidence to do anything correctly. But nonetheless I am still trying. I consider myself to be fairly unlucky and I often expect screw ups on a regular basis. You’re probably wondering again why I am bothering with this blog, blogs are meant to help people right? Well for now that is not this blog becuase I do not know how to help you if I am currently unable to help myself, I just do this blog as a way for something to do. Maybe harsh? Maybe blunt? But that is the point and I don’t lie. Perhaps when my attempts to help myself do work I can and in fact will share them on this blog, but I don’t know when that will be.
So if you are here at this blog expecting help with ways to deal with Autism, I am sorry, but I currently cannot present such content. But I am here to entertain so here I am, this blog IS for entertainment purposes ONLY currently, although you may learn more on my mystery posts and you may get more into politics from my political posts, so that’s a good thing. So yes here is a glimpse into the life with someone who has Autism. I am not going to hide the way I feel so on days I am not in a good mood you can expect that to be shown through some of my Lifestyle posts. Currently while typing this up I was in a somewhat bad mood and I can’t often entirely say why, it is just what it is. But don’t worry I will still be professional when replying to you in the comments or through my contacts! My bad mood is contained only to my Lifestyle posts.
The only advice I can give, as I said earlier, is to just keep trying, like I am.
So that is that really, if none of this has put you off than feel free to stick around and spread news of my blog far and wide! It would really help.