Even thinking about it makes me instantly relaxed and my stress and worries melt away. A big problem in my life is just being completely and entirely over-whelmed by the abundance of choices and options we have access to now-a-days – some people call that virtuous or a good thing, but for someone like me who struggles to understand complex systems, requirements and the right path to take, it is absolute Hell on Earth to go through.
Featured photo by Pixabay.com from Pexels.
One of the main complex monsters out there that is faced by everyone at some point is the education system, different for you depending on where you live, but generally it is overly complex with dozens upon dozens of options with dozens upon dozens of requirements… or at least it can feel like that… where do you begin?! For most people this system can easily end any hope of them reaching their dream job, particularly if they got bad grades, which I unfortunately did, despite trying my hardest.
My dream job is to become a political analyst because of how interested I am in politics and I love going through analytical information such as polls and political trends and then using that information to write something about, originally just to myself, but it is also something in the past I have incorporated into this very blog, such as for the US Midterms for example, I am amateur of course, but for me it is a starting point, but from here I fail to see a path to go to make it into something realistic, such as an actual political analyst for a media company.
I feel like I have the base skills to begin to pursue my dream job, but I just don’t have what the system wants me to have, the right grades and ways of understanding where to start in the education system, there are so many options and paths to take, but each with a requirement I do not have which seemingly makes it impossible, on top of me just not at all understanding the concept of it all. I find myself looking at some sort of course or degree and just back-tracking through each requirement, going down a deep, dark and most likely, expensive hole. I just don’t know where to start and I keep repeating this because I really just do not know how others can know where and how to go, perhaps they don’t, but I just don’t at all get it or know how to make any sense of it.
When my fruitless research that just leads deeper into dark and cold tunnels becomes too much I just end up shutting off back to square one and to calm myself down, imagine myself in a world with one-defined and obvious option, instant relaxation comes on thinking this every time and I feel like I can almost lose myself in it, wishing I was just there. It makes me feel like I was put on to the wrong world and that I should have been put on to a world that has a much simpler system. Where do I begin? That is the problem. Or is it entirely pointless even trying? Perhaps my grades will never allow me so it is a waste of time even trying? I just don’t know.
Anyway, at least one positive thing came of this, it gave me an idea to make this blog post, which cheered me up somewhat. It is some sort of content and it also helps to get it out there instead of bottling it up. I reckon there are obviously others out there that face this path of complete lostness and that also makes me feel a little better in thinking that I am not the only one suffering with this problem.
I am not giving up and I am going to try and keep looking. I think for me an Access course may be the way to go, to work towards what I want to do for life, but there is much to consider, such as the costs, the risks and if I can even handle the path, I am setting myself to take. I have a goal of getting into a University, which although may sound silly I think is possible, but do I see myself making it? Honestly, I do not, but I think that is only because I have never actually proven myself before, at least in a big way. Maybe this time I can.
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